When I reach the beginning of a new year, I prefer to focus on priorities and intentions versus goals. Coaching has been a major work focus for me during the past 12 years. Those who reach out for coaching are generally people I know who seek coaching services for themselves or a loved one. This approach gives me ample time and energy for caring for local grandchildren, as well as serving on not-for-profit boards and committees. Since COVID a key focus area for me has been enhancing the well-being of myself and others. Lifting others up through connecting is a way we can help ourselves and others. This could be a deep conversation or a casual greeting. I am setting an intention to be more aware of my interactions with others - those close to me and those I meet casually - by being present in the moment and really listening to what they say verbally and nonverbally. Here’s to positive setting of priorities and intentions in 2024!
At the end of a year people often look back on accomplishments before looking ahead to new opportunities. My husband, Tom, and I prefer to use the lens of our values when reflecting on the past and anticipating the future. I quickly embraced the accomplishments my husband mentioned for this past year: moments of kindness. Immediately, I thought of the times Tom suggested we visit a friend who is in a tough situation. With the funds we set aside for philanthropy, I remembered Tom’s input on programs and organizations with missions aligned with our values and priorities. As friends in the arts traveled near us, I recall how we booked time to treat these talented performers to lunch. Working in the arts is a labor of love that is often financially challenging. We appreciate the joy these artists bring to audiences, as well as the new perspectives their work may convey. As we look ahead, I am confident our values will continue to inform our moments of kindness. Based on your values, what are you happy about accomplishing? And, what excites you about the new year?
Today I am reflecting on the gifts from my mother and other women in my life who have nurtured me. From these special people I have learned so much about living, loving, learning and laughing. Some of us are lucky to have moms who could exemplify positive qualities. Others of us have benefited from grandmothers, step-mothers, aunts, siblings, teachers, coaches, neighbors and friends. I feel grateful for all of the women in my life who have been positive role models, encouraged me along my path, and helped me grow into someone who loves to nurture others.
Dr. Ruth Westheimer recommends that we “rewire” vs. retire. I like that notion and believe it encourages people to explore other paths after they have stepped away from their full-time careers. Some may want to continue using their career skills but in a new way or on a new schedule. Others may want to pursue an interest that they could not fit into their previous life or develop a new one. Still others may feel called to promote a cause dear to them or care for loved ones. I feel the word “rewire” can spark a sense of possibilities, including a combination of several activities. A key is to look for a convergence of skills, interests and community needs. To those ready for this life phase, best wishes “rewiring.”
Recently I have been reflecting on how to determine if an opportunity is worth pursuing. From my experiences I have learned to take some time to clarify the opportunity, evaluate the opportunity in light of my values and priorities, pay attention to my feelings and energy surrounding the opportunity, and seek a trusted person to serve as a sounding board. I believe these steps increase my confidence and lower my stress as I go through the decision-making process. I also feel that my decision to accept or decline the opportunity will feel right after my discernment process.
A year ago I reviewed my priorities (which had not changed) and and updated the activities that support them. Again, I let go of some activities that I feel had run their course and acknowledged others that now provide more fulfillment and satisfaction. A friend wisely shared that our energy level regarding our endeavors can point us toward or away from these endeavors. I have found that to be true for me. I am believer in controlling what we can in our lives (and accepting what we cannot). In addition, I have learned we can control more that we realize if we are honest with ourselves and others. As the new year unfolds, I plan to send positive energy out into the universe via how I show up daily with each person I encounter. Best wishes to all!
As the new year begins, I am revisiting how my major activities support my top priorities. I set my top six priorities when I stepped away from full-time employment to pursue coaching and other activities that were important to me. These priorities have not changed, but some of my commitments and activities have evolved.
When I felt a desire for change, especially after becoming a grandparent, I let go of some activities to which I had dedicated time and effort. How did I decide? Some activities reached a conclusion. For others I noticed my interest and drive was fading. It was not always easy to let go of something to which I had previously committed, and it was even harder to communicate that decision. But, I believe and feel that we are the ones to craft our lives to the extent we have control. And, reflecting on what is most important to us can help us make the decisions that are best for us.
Recently my husband and I traveled out of state to visit one friend who is fighting a disease and to see another friend perform in a professional theatrical production. We love our flexible schedules and our ability to travel to see family and friends.
The first friend we visited acknowledged us for showing up – not just this time but in the past, too. That made me feel good and appreciate the power of being present for people that I care about.
Sometimes we cannot be physically present. In those cases a phone call, card, letter, or message can let someone know that we care. But when we are physically present, the gift of our presence can be inspirational and memorable.
By now I have lost my father (many years ago) and my mother (a couple of years ago). In both cases I remember special people who were physically present at my parents’ visitations and/or services. I can picture these people greeting me, hugging me, and consoling me. I will never forgot their gift of being there. I also remember special relatives and friends who were present to celebrate our sons’ graduations and weddings. The presence of these individuals enhanced our happiness and gratitude.
We may never know the effect of the good we offer the world, but we can be sure of the power of showing up especially during special times – both joyful and difficult.
Some of my clients have engaged my services as part of their own professional development. They envisioned coaching as a way to gain insights so they could enhance their contributions at work, feel more confident, and experience more satisfaction. In all cases these individuals were already perceived positively, but they felt a need to keep growing to reach their goals. I applaud their realization that an investment in coaching can provide the self-awareness that supports career growth. Seeking coaching can help individuals take their career from good to great!
A common theme among recent coaching clients has been a combination of workload and expectations that are beyond what is reasonable over an extended time with no end is sight. The employers are some of the most respected in town. Some of the immediate supervisors are empathetic. However, it seems the high-level goals being set produce a workload that cannot be accomplished with quality without excessive overtime.
What is the effect of this situation? Affected employees develop such a high level of stress that their health and well-being are jeopardized. They perceive they cannot continue on this path indefinitely. In some cases, they may be able to transfer internally to a more realistic assignment. Often, they begin looking outside. Their employers risk losing a conscientious, talented, and dedicated employee.
It seems that part of the problem is too much top-down planning and not enough input from those who implement the plans. Another may be a lack of priority setting. Finally, I wonder if quality is sometimes lost in the quest for quantity.
I encourage executives and leaders to foster an environment that makes employees feel comfortable providing input and feedback. A key is to really listen to what your employees have to say and take responsive action.